Being me

I was born with “male” parts, 22 years ago to a mother who was a drug addict and a father that I was taken from. I don’t remember very much from my life as a little kid but I do remember always walking like I was wearing heels. My family didnt think much of that at the time but they had no idea what would happen in the future.

Right around the time I was 5 or 6 I would often go to bed and wish I would wake up as a girl the next morning. Of course that never happened but it was the first time I really felt like I was a girl. As time went on the feelings got stronger.

It wasn’t until I started going through puberty that I felt uncomfortable though I didn’t tell anyone. I promised myself I would never tell anyone my secret, so I lived my life at the time as a boy.
Eventually I started growing facial hair. I hated it so much. I wanted it gone and it was a huge relief when I learned to shave though it was only a temporary fix.

In high school I started wearing my grandmothers dresses and high heels when no one was home. They weren’t the prettiest dresses, but it felt right. One hot day in the summer of 2012, me, my brother, my dad, and my step mom went out to eat at a local restaurant. I had really hairy legs at the time and my dad and brother were laughing and joking about how long it was. That day was the start of my transition. When I got home, I immediately went to the bathroom and shaved my legs. I had enough. I hated being a boy and I wanted to change it. I slowly started doing more “girly” things. I bought pink shoelaces and girls underwear. I started painting my nails and his them from my family (That didn’t fit right) Eventually I came out to my family and shockingly, (My family are all Christians) they accepted me and within a few weeks I was finally living as a girl, as myself. I met some really great friends that accepted me too. I’m so grateful for that. Not everyone is a s lucky as I am. Its because of that, that I want to change this world. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are.

If anyone is feeling alone and like no one cares, just know I love you and I care about you, no matter who you are.

I don’t know how, but I’m here.

I never had to suffer through having my parent trying to cure me of being transgender, because I knew from the start that something like this would never be accepted in our christian home. I struggled greatly through most of my childhood and was sent to christian therapist after therapist to try and help. At one point the decision was even made to send me to a mental hospital because my parents couldn’t figure out how to fix my depression and anger. This did nothing but teach me how to shut things deep within myself. My mother knew that I had been in her cloths and even her makeup on many occasions, but she kept this to herself. I was to fearful and she simply didn’t want to talk about it. I know this now after coming out to here last year and her letting me know that she knew something was going on but she was too afraid to deal with it. Apparently at the very least she thought I might be gay and was just hoping that it would go away. So my childhood went on and medications were prescribed, but nothing ever helped. No amount of praying for relief, and asking for God’s guidance ever took away the need for female expression. I simply had a parent that was unwilling to deal with what was going on in front of her. I did all that I could to try and deal with what I had felt and eventually managed to repress things for a long while. It wasn’t gone however and the more I tried to hide it from myself the more trouble it caused me, up to the point that I was a trigger pull away from ending it all. But that was the first 32 years of my life. This letter tells just a bit about the new life I have found. [Read more…]

Alecis to alex

My name is alex my birth name was alecis (alexis) i am ftm Trangender i identif as bisexual (mostly guys tho) i am 16 years old from Michigan usa. When i was about 12 or 13 i started to feel something wasn’t right i have had this feeling when i was 6 but didn’t know what it was so i ignored it till i was 12 or 13 i looked it up and found out im transgender i have started living as a male (waiting to have the surgery) and i feel really happy as a male 🙂 rip leelah you are missed so much

Supporting All Our Children

I wrote this post for my blog in Leelah’s memory. All of us, whether or not we are parents, need to support our youth. You can read more at my blog: http://rainbowspiritblog.wordpress.com/

On December 28, 17-year-old transgender teen Leelah Alcorn committed suicide near her Ohio home. “Home,” though, seems like a misnomer. It seems Leelah never had a true home, a place where she felt affirmed, accepted, and loved for the unique person she was. When she came out to her family, they reacted with anger and disrespect. Her parents, she wrote, took her out of school and took away her phone so she couldn’t have contact with supportive friends. They took her to so-called “Christian” therapists for her depression. They used their beliefs to condemn their child, denying her deeply felt identity as a trans* girl.

It’s painfully clear that Leelah’s parents had no idea how to support a transgender child. What can we who are parents, and we who have children in our lives, do to support the free development of all children? [Read more…]

This isn’t a story.. More like my love for Leelah

I never knew Leelah, never met her. I never knew anything about her, until her death was announced to the world.
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I’m so ashamed at her family for not truly loving her like if she was there own. Because of their lack of love, parenting & support they lost a beautiful child.
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I hope one day our WHOLE WORLD will accept the LGBT community.
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As a whole nation, it is a must to work on acceptance & equality.
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No matter what gender, race or sexuality you are, your still human & that’s one thing a lot of human beings don’t seem to understand.
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I don’t understand why the LGBT community has so much hate. Especially when the community has done nothing to deserve such hate & discrimination.
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Whether it’s shoes, an accessory, an animal or even simple things like food, loving ANYTHING or ANYONE is possible, which includes loving the same sex.
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I hope Leelah gets her wish, because she truly deserves it. She deserves so much more then what her parents gave her & as for her parents, shame on them. If they were true Christians that lived their life by or for God, they would’ve accepted Leelah for wanting to be who she was because God supposedly loves all & everyone’s equal.
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I’m not a transgender, I’m a lesbian & have been engaged to my girlfriend for the past 2 years & I love her dearly.

My heart aches for Leelah & what she went through & I just wanted to share my thoughts.

My dear, I know you’ll never see this, but I hope you enjoyed every bit of your last Christmas & last day here on earth my angel.
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R.I.P Leelah Alcorn 1997–2014

I’m Sorry, Leelah

I’m a cis queer Christian girl, and I just wanted to apologize to Leelah. I never met her, or the boy whose body she wore, or any of her friends or family. There is nothing I could have done to save her, but I still have to apologize. I bought into the society that did this to her, that not only did not stop her or save her but that stood by and allowed her to end her life.
When Tumblr, by request of Leelah’s parents, took down Leelah’s tumblr (a backup of which you can find here: http://lazerprincess.soup.io) I saw on tumblr that on Reddit she was known as nostalgiaprincess, and I went and checked her out.
I found a beautiful girl who was full of life; she loved art and video games, and longed for the day she would turn 18 and move out, get her own hormones, and become the girl she really was. She was active on a subreddit where she often gave advice to trans people, mostly girls, who were trying to pass as their transitioning gender. She was a beautiful girl who had so much to offer the world, who could have changed society with her amazing life instead of her untimely death. Her parents deserve only a fraction of the blame. A culture that allows transphobia is truly the culprit.
I’m sorry, Leelah, that I let you die.
RIP => Rest In Power

Like Buffy

It appeared to me that I was transgender roughly five months ago. I literally woke up with it, having previously been curious about what I’d look like as a girl. The first week was filled with so much joy. Pure. Like Leelah, I had discovered who I really was. It gave me the defining motivation to quit the unhealthy lifestyle that my depression and unrest had led me to. I then realized that these psychological problems were caused by my gender dysphoria, because they subsided significantly once I found out. [Read more…]

Something In Common

In 2005 I meet a guy his name was Ryan we were both going to hard times we were both not accept where we were I’m bisexual I have been for year I didn’t come out till I was 15 Ryan never felt like a guy he felt trapped in a body that wasn’t him but couldn’t do anything because he felt he wouldn’t be accepted for 2 years I helped him get the courage to become who he felt he was Dakota he was a beautiful women and for time in the two years I had known him he was happy with himself with life no one understood him he was judged everyday of his life but he was happy I was there for him his mother kicked him out and I opened my door with my family with open arms he wasn’t just a tranny he wasn’t confused he was trapped living a life he didn’t believe was his i helped him find him self he became family he because my light he saved my life I saved his but people can only be strong for so long and when the words get to you they destroy not just the victims but everyone around them everyone who cared Dakota took her life last year at 21 she had so much ahead of her it’s time people understand that words hurt yeah we grow up with the whole “stick and stones will break our bones but words will never hurt you” words may never break your bones but they will leave you damaged they will fuck with your mind change your thought on yourself your self esteem will fall you won’t be comfortable in your own skin just because word don’t break bones doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt so let’s wise up understand the meaning of what we stay and stop taking the lives that haven’t even started yet. When I was in middle school, on April 19, 2011, I asked my best friend if she wanted to date me. She said yes, but she knew if her parents found out everything would go wrong. Two weeks later, her parents found out. They said that I was going to Hell for making their daughter gay and that I was an ugly, terrible person. They took all contact I had with her away. Her cell phone, her laptop, the only contact I had with her was school… And they eventually took that away too. They put her in a Christian school to convert her to being straight. Once the summer came, I never heard from her again, and she was my best friend. It still hurts today, almost 4 years later, that there could be someone so intolerant of their children. Both of us were on the verge of suicide. I know it’s not a transgender story, but it does involve conversion… And I want to put an end to it because it’s just not right!

Finding Out Identity

I’m 19 years old and am a Male to Female transgender. I currently live in a very conservative, religious small town. I always knew there was something different about me, even to my earliest memories, but I couldn’t quite pinpoint it. While I played with “boy toys” and never really seemed girly to others, I would always want to be the heroines of my favorite shows (Totally Spies and Sailor Moon, in case you were wondering). I was never vocal about it, but I spent every day as a heroine of some sort in my imagination. As I got older, I realized there was something odd and that regular boys didn’t do that sort of thing. I started to act more masculine on the outside, thinking I could “fix” myself, but I just couldn’t get rid of that feeling I kept pushing away. That anxiety coupled with my Dad being diagnosed with ALS and his eventual death drove me crazy. I began to cut myself and even attempted suicide once. A few years after he was gone, I learned about transgenders. It finally clicked and I knew what I was, but I heard and saw all the negativity against them and was too afraid to come out. At least, until last year. I finally got the courage to come out to my mom. We argued a lot, and for a while she thought I was insane. She remembered how I would play with “boy toys” and thought because I didn’t fit the stereotype that I couldn’t be transgender and that it was just a phase. But now we’ve had some time to talk things over, and we went to an impartial psychiatrist who gave us all the facts and details, and now she’s super supportive along with a few close friends! But still, given how hostile my community is, I’ve made little progress in transitioning. It’s a terrifying thought honestly. But Leelah’s story inspired me. She was able to be true to herself despite everything, even though she wasn’t lucky enough to have the support I have. I don’t think I would be able to live with myself any longer, wasting the love and support that so many would yearn for. So, I’ve finally made the decision to start the transition process. I owe Leelah for giving me the courage, and this page for giving me something to be passionate about. Thank you so much. Let’s get Leelah’s Law passed! No one should have to go through that kind of hell! And if there’s anyone like me who has been hesitating, I personally think they should go for it. More than being afraid of discrimination, I think the real thing we should be afraid of is regret. No one should live in regret over the things they could have done or the person they could have been.