Stories

Not a story but a poem I wrote from Leelah’s pov for my poetry final

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My name is Leelah Alcorn and I refuse to fade
I can’t let my death be just another statistic
one more kid that just couldn’t handle it
that’s not who I am and I refuse to be
it was 2:30 am walking in the freezing cold
wind slapping my face as I walk alone
I know what I’m about to do
but I can’t help but think how I got here
how my life fell into a pit of darkness
that I can’t seem to get out of as I gasp for breath
how can I live on this earth when I feel like I’m being buried beneath it
A mother, supposed to love and support you
A mother, who embodies warm hugs and laughter
A mother, filled with care and affection
why do I feel like this is all I lived without
My mother, who said it was against her faith, that God doesn’t make mistakes
My mother, who said I’d never truly be a girl, that I was wrong
never tell your trans children that, even if you’re against it
all it does is make them hate themselves
How can you expect Christian therapist to help depression
When all they say is I’m being selfish and should look to God for help
How do you expect me to get better
When they’re all biased and tell me I’m wrong just like my mother did
She says she loves her son, that he’s a good boy
but I am not her son
I’m not a he, I’m me
A girl realized it at four years old
How can she not grasp it now
I’m gonna be buried in a suit six feet under the ground
with the name Josh Alcorn across the grave
but that is not how I identify
You isolate me from everyone and everything
because I don’t fit your white picket fence family
because I’m different you find me an embarrassment
I’m not your perfect, little, straight, Christian boy cause that’s not what I wanted
you took me out of school, took my laptop, my phone
no way to get on social media, alone, kept away from my friends
I was so depressed surprised I didn’t kill myself then
five months this went on when I realized my “friends” didn’t even care at all
after a summer with no friends I knew I’d never successfully transition
with thinking about college, money, grades, going to church, feeling like shit every week
where they’re against everything I believe
I’ll never be happy with who I am
That’s what got me here, in the dark on the side of the road
I can see the headlight as I stand in the cold
I can hear the horn right before it hits
and then I’m fading into nothingness
Life is a board game and sometimes you give up before you can win
My life is like Monopoly where sometimes you lose everything
I was screwed from the start
because my head and my heart didn’t match the parts
don’t tell me you understand when you still think I’m a man
cause you see gender physically instead of mentally
you’re just as closed minded as the rest of my family
if there is one thing that I wish after this it’s for you to “Fix Society”
To have someone see how many trans kids did what I did and say
“That’s fucked up” and want it to change
so people aren’t treated like me
because they are humans with valid feelings
My name is Leelah Josh Alcorn and I know what I’ve done
My death has to mean something… to someone

Hi, I’m K. G.

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I’m a 20 year old FtM with a loving and supportive family and group of friends. That’s it. I haven’t suffered any bullying or abuse because of who I am. Sure, I was bullied for being a nerd but I didn’t come out as trans until I dropped out of highschool. Yes I experience extreme bouts of dysphoria, usually about once a month. *wink wink, nudge nudge* No I am not a tragic story like most of the others you’ve heard about, or maybe you are experiencing yourself. I thought it would be refreshing to show you that people and, yes society, are changing. The world is changeing! Unfortunately, some people are afraid of change so be careful of those people. If you’re a trans individual, gender-fluid, or non-Binary person: don’t worry, they can’t tell. Go to whichever bathroom you wanna use. What everyone else thinks is none of your business. It’s 2015 not 1915. There is hope.

United We stand

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I was inspired by Leelahs story and signed the petition @ change.org. unfortunately GLBT youth in our country are unfairly treated and face higher rates of drug use, suicide, child abuse, childhood sexual abuse, isolation and marginalization.

Where I’m from, New York, we are currently fighting to have Erin’s Law passed. Erin’s laws are legislated at the state level and create programs and educational protocols for K-12 public school student to teach them about how to prevent, report and understand what sexual abuse is in order to reduce the growing rate of abuse cases nationwide.

I have created a petition on change.org to support Erin Merryn and her tireless work to pass Erin’s laws nationwide by starting here in New York and I hope to join her in her advocacy campaign soon. If you would like to help please sign the petition. the link is below:

https://www.change.org/p/sheldon-silver-tell-the-ny-state-assembly-s-committee-on-education-to-pass-erin-merryn-s-law

For Leelah

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I’m straight and have a lot of gay friends here in my life. I really wish I can be there for Leelah and give her my comfort hugs. And wish she still alive. I’m still angry toward her parents. I want to give my comfort hugs to Leelah’s friends, I know it’s very hard to accept her suicide. Now she’s your guardian angel. Try to make picture of her (I love the picture of her with an angel wings- very beautiful) and put it in the photo frame. Put it aside on the night stand. And small photo in your billions or purse. To keep memories alive in your heart. I love you all of Leelah’s friends.

Actually I’m female. Tomboy all my life at school, play sports. Now I’m 53 years old, still dressed tomboy style. I don’t care if people look at me. F**k them. By the way I have many many friends. Mostly hearing people. I’m deaf and hated deaf people, they cause drama against me. Long story to say.

Hope one day I will meet Leelah in heaven. Can’t wait.

R.I.P. Leelah. <3

People can hate me all they want

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People can hate me all they want for my efforts to pursue my happiness, they aren’t the ones who got born in this birth defect of a body – I am a 35 year old transwoman in the long, painful process of transition. I was terrified of saying anything to my family for years due to a fear of being disowned and losing the only support I have since I’m also disabled. Plus the fear of being murdered by a hateful society didn’t help. That fear held me back from transitioning for a long time, I didn’t manage to begin HRT until this past April. My family now knows and they are thankfully supportive, hard to say with my sister though and while I’ve had to put up with a lot of transphobia from many where I live, others have been supportive. Years of being forced to be male since early childhood though and from being forced to be male in things like video games for years on end has resulted in a strong physical and emotional distress from being forced, demanded and addressed to as male. I’m a woman, I can’t help that my body was born wrong. So many who are trans* are forced to suffer because of the stigma and hatred there is towards the trans* community, from radical feminists groups ensuring that our rights are denied to religious groups trying to force us to be what they demand and forcing conversion therapy on us. It has to stop, it must stop.We are human beings who yearn and ache to be able to live our lives as ourselves, we are not ‘freaks’, we are not ‘things’, we are human beings. We are daughters, sons, wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, we are real people who just want and need to be true to ourselves. Trans* youth need the support and guidance to be able to be who they know they are, and trans* adults need the same help and guidance to be who they know they are. Too many of our trans* sisters and brothers have died, so many lives have been ended because of hatred, bigotry, damaging ideals, misinformation, oppression, violence and many other means. We are fellow human beings, please let us live. No more hate.
~Reina~

Being me

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I was born with “male” parts, 22 years ago to a mother who was a drug addict and a father that I was taken from. I don’t remember very much from my life as a little kid but I do remember always walking like I was wearing heels. My family didnt think much of that at the time but they had no idea what would happen in the future.

Right around the time I was 5 or 6 I would often go to bed and wish I would wake up as a girl the next morning. Of course that never happened but it was the first time I really felt like I was a girl. As time went on the feelings got stronger.

It wasn’t until I started going through puberty that I felt uncomfortable though I didn’t tell anyone. I promised myself I would never tell anyone my secret, so I lived my life at the time as a boy.
Eventually I started growing facial hair. I hated it so much. I wanted it gone and it was a huge relief when I learned to shave though it was only a temporary fix.

In high school I started wearing my grandmothers dresses and high heels when no one was home. They weren’t the prettiest dresses, but it felt right. One hot day in the summer of 2012, me, my brother, my dad, and my step mom went out to eat at a local restaurant. I had really hairy legs at the time and my dad and brother were laughing and joking about how long it was. That day was the start of my transition. When I got home, I immediately went to the bathroom and shaved my legs. I had enough. I hated being a boy and I wanted to change it. I slowly started doing more “girly” things. I bought pink shoelaces and girls underwear. I started painting my nails and his them from my family (That didn’t fit right) Eventually I came out to my family and shockingly, (My family are all Christians) they accepted me and within a few weeks I was finally living as a girl, as myself. I met some really great friends that accepted me too. I’m so grateful for that. Not everyone is a s lucky as I am. Its because of that, that I want to change this world. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are.

If anyone is feeling alone and like no one cares, just know I love you and I care about you, no matter who you are.

I don’t know how, but I’m here.

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I never had to suffer through having my parent trying to cure me of being transgender, because I knew from the start that something like this would never be accepted in our christian home. I struggled greatly through most of my childhood and was sent to christian therapist after therapist to try and help. At one point the decision was even made to send me to a mental hospital because my parents couldn’t figure out how to fix my depression and anger. This did nothing but teach me how to shut things deep within myself. My mother knew that I had been in her cloths and even her makeup on many occasions, but she kept this to herself. I was to fearful and she simply didn’t want to talk about it. I know this now after coming out to here last year and her letting me know that she knew something was going on but she was too afraid to deal with it. Apparently at the very least she thought I might be gay and was just hoping that it would go away. So my childhood went on and medications were prescribed, but nothing ever helped. No amount of praying for relief, and asking for God’s guidance ever took away the need for female expression. I simply had a parent that was unwilling to deal with what was going on in front of her. I did all that I could to try and deal with what I had felt and eventually managed to repress things for a long while. It wasn’t gone however and the more I tried to hide it from myself the more trouble it caused me, up to the point that I was a trigger pull away from ending it all. But that was the first 32 years of my life. This letter tells just a bit about the new life I have found. [Read more…]

Alecis to alex

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My name is alex my birth name was alecis (alexis) i am ftm Trangender i identif as bisexual (mostly guys tho) i am 16 years old from Michigan usa. When i was about 12 or 13 i started to feel something wasn’t right i have had this feeling when i was 6 but didn’t know what it was so i ignored it till i was 12 or 13 i looked it up and found out im transgender i have started living as a male (waiting to have the surgery) and i feel really happy as a male 🙂 rip leelah you are missed so much