What has occurred with Leelah is certainly a tragedy and very relatable for me. This is just some of my story…
I was born Christopher Cody on March 31, 1998, in a small town in the state of Arkansas. I am male to female transgender. From the age of 5 until I was 12, I was forced to attend a Trinity Holiness Pentecostal Christian Church. There I was repeatedly taught that gays, transsexuals, interracial couples, were all wrong and definitely of the Devil.
When I was younger and played with my female cousins, I always made them be the guy when playing “Barbie’s” and “house.” I would wear my moms clothes, shoes, etc. I used to also wear a towel on my hair to act like I had long hair. I had all the signs and symptoms, and I always knew I was different.
At one point I got my cousins grandma to buy me some Barbie’s, and my dad found them. He threw them away and I had never seen him so angry. The only time I ever got to play with them was when I went to my female cousins. We played with makeup, dolls, and everything we wanted.
The years went on my brother passed, we moved to even a smaller town in Arkansas, and I was starting to be more confused. This is when we quit going to church, which I am oh so thankful for! Fast forward to 9th grade and I come out as bisexual, then gay to everyone besides my family.
I started missing school and I landed myself in the court system for missing 50+ days. I eventually got out my 10th grade year in September, was placed back in December for missing 30+ additional days. This time I was court ordered to cut my hair (that hadn’t been cut since 9th grade) for punishment for missing school.
I refused and ended up in juvenile detention for 9 days. On the 9th day I went to see my counselor and came out as male to female transgender. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and gender identity disorder. I was sent to a behavioural hospital, and got released on the 7th day, just 5 days before my 16th birthday.
I have cut off all relations with every family member I have due to unacceptance, besides my mom (my mom and dad divorced November 2012). She doesnt like it, but she deals with it, although she won’t let me transition. When she gets angry with me she calls me “boy” on purpose because she knows it upsets me.
There’s only one person I can say truly accepts and loves me unconditionally, and that’s my friend Sabrina I met about 2 years ago on a site called ‘Omegle’. The only sad part is that she’s 631 miles away. I think this is what makes us closer though.
These are just some of the main points in my story, I didnt cover as much as I would of liked to, but its already unorganized enough.
XOXO,
Elise Marie
If any of you ever feel alone, you can email me at [email protected], your secrets are safe with me.
Rest in Power, Leelah. <3