Hidden Identity

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I wasn’t born with the name that all my friends secretly call me, but It’s the name I chose for my real self. I was born a girl, but always looked at my brother wishing that I could be like him. But not his personality, I wanted to be a guy because I hated girly things and I enjoy dressing and looking like a guy. But it got to the point I just wasn’t happy in my own body. It didn’t show what I was inside. It took a lot of tears and fighting to find out that in the end, Im a boy trapped in a girls body. While everyone knew I was a lesbian, no one knows the truth. I try to deny who I am, because my family will never accept me. My mom freaked when she found out I was gay. When she saw my facebook used male pronouns, she nearly had a heart attack. I had to lie to keep her from knowing. I will never transition because hurting my family just to make me happy with myself is just something I’ve never been able to do. I couldn’t possibly hurt my mom with that, because when she approached me about my facebook, she said that “transgender people were mentally ill and confused and she didn’t want her daughter to feel that way”. It doesn’t help that my grandparents are proud that I’m their only granddaughter. I have denied religion in the belief that all it has done is blind my mom from seeing that being a parent is more about loving your child no matter what they grow up to be or what they’re born as. I know most people will say that I should leave my family if they would accept me for who I am. But I just can’t. I’ll be 19 soon. I’m afraid of the future and what will happen. All I know is that I need to just keep living.

A Message to all TransYouth

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hello im charity and i joined because i wanted to show my support for the many young people who are transgender and deal with depression and suicide. i have a video i done id like to share because recently one of our own in the transgender community who was 17 took her own life and it inspired me to make the video to give those some hopes thats its not the end…there is options and people that are out there to talk to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uSMHlFeCCew please watch all of it. share this video to all.

Relating to Leelah

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What has occurred with Leelah is certainly a tragedy and very relatable for me. This is just some of my story…

I was born Christopher Cody on March 31, 1998, in a small town in the state of Arkansas. I am male to female transgender. From the age of 5 until I was 12, I was forced to attend a Trinity Holiness Pentecostal Christian Church. There I was repeatedly taught that gays, transsexuals, interracial couples, were all wrong and definitely of the Devil.

When I was younger and played with my female cousins, I always made them be the guy when playing “Barbie’s” and “house.” I would wear my moms clothes, shoes, etc. I used to also wear a towel on my hair to act like I had long hair. I had all the signs and symptoms, and I always knew I was different.

At one point I got my cousins grandma to buy me some Barbie’s, and my dad found them. He threw them away and I had never seen him so angry. The only time I ever got to play with them was when I went to my female cousins. We played with makeup, dolls, and everything we wanted.

The years went on my brother passed, we moved to even a smaller town in Arkansas, and I was starting to be more confused. This is when we quit going to church, which I am oh so thankful for! Fast forward to 9th grade and I come out as bisexual, then gay to everyone besides my family.

I started missing school and I landed myself in the court system for missing 50+ days. I eventually got out my 10th grade year in September, was placed back in December for missing 30+ additional days. This time I was court ordered to cut my hair (that hadn’t been cut since 9th grade) for punishment for missing school.

I refused and ended up in juvenile detention for 9 days. On the 9th day I went to see my counselor and came out as male to female transgender. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and gender identity disorder. I was sent to a behavioural hospital, and got released on the 7th day, just 5 days before my 16th birthday.

I have cut off all relations with every family member I have due to unacceptance, besides my mom (my mom and dad divorced November 2012). She doesnt like it, but she deals with it, although she won’t let me transition. When she gets angry with me she calls me “boy” on purpose because she knows it upsets me.

There’s only one person I can say truly accepts and loves me unconditionally, and that’s my friend Sabrina I met about 2 years ago on a site called ‘Omegle’. The only sad part is that she’s 631 miles away. I think this is what makes us closer though.

These are just some of the main points in my story, I didnt cover as much as I would of liked to, but its already unorganized enough.

XOXO,
Elise Marie

If any of you ever feel alone, you can email me at [email protected], your secrets are safe with me.

Rest in Power, Leelah. <3

Love for Leelah

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From Pitt Meadows, BC Canada:

I don’t have much of a story, I am bisexual and a Christian, but I don’t feel that matters in the grand scheme of things here.
What happened to you shouldn’t happen to anyone and conversion therapies are so wrong on so many levels.
I just wanted to say I stand by you Leelah, and you will always be in my heart and we’ll keep fighting for you. I am so so sorry it took your death for this movement, but I promise it will not be in vain.
– Kira

Love for Leelah

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From Pitt Meadows, BC Canada:
Leelah you will always be in my heart and we’ll keep fighting for you. I’m so sorry it took your death for this movement, but I promise it will not be in vain.
– Kira

Mom of transgender

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My son is transgender (f2m) and I could never imagine putting him through this. I love my baby, no matter what. I am proud of my son!! Being transgender is hard enough and to have your own parents against you is heartbreaking. I take this personally and Leelah I will spend everyday of the rest of my life fighting so that no child will ever have to hurt like you.I wish I could have known you, to hold you and try to make it easier, bearable. You deserved so much more. Rest easy princess, we will do everything we can to make it a better world.

Love,
A broken momma

Stay Strong

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I didn’t know much about the LGBT community until middle school. I was a church kid growing up, and I remember early on having feelings for girls. I remember at least having an attachment to women, and as a kid I liked walking around with no shirt and I liked not wearing a bra and I liked pictures that made me look like a boy. But then I hit puberty and I was an awkward preteen, and in my sophomore year of high school I struggled with my sexuality. I eventually grew confident in that but the word lesbian and gay never felt right, at least lesbian didn’t. Because I mean I like guys but even when I liked girls more it still didn’t.

Around the time I was getting comfortable with my sexuality I started to question whether or not I was transgender. I pushed it aside, because I was like, no, I just figured out my sexuality–I can’t just have something to figure out like that again. I denied it for a few months until I started to think about it. I was still denying it but I was questioning. I told my Mom two months ago and I talked to my therapist about it. [Read more…]

What is Conversion Therapy?

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According to RationalWiki.Org, Conversion Therapy, often called ‘Reparative Therapy’, ‘… is the notion that homosexuality and transgenderism (author’s note: ‘Gender Dysphoria, the official American Psychiatric Association term, would be better suited here than the academic and awkward term, ‘transgenderism’) can, and should, be “cured.”’

Moreover, RationalWiki informs us that, “Transgender reparative therapy is occasionally practiced on children who display cross-gender behaviors, often by misgueded professional psychiatrists who seek to, for example, get young boys to ‘drop the Barbie.’”

[Read more…]