Author: Zach Mallory

The Gay Transgender

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I didn’t know what LGBTQ+ meant until the 7th grade when I was enrolled in a homophobic boarding school for 1 year at this point. I jumped around a lot exploring my sexuality. Then in the 9th grade I really figured out who I was. But by the 10th grade I hid being transgender out of fear. I started dating this guy who is 100% straight. But 5 months into our relationship I told him I am a guy and I like guys. At first he seemed hurt and was obviously in shock. After a few weeks we continued to talk and he then realized he loved me all the same no matter what because I’m still me. Many people get confused that I’m FtM and I like guys. They tell me to just be a straight female but that’s not who I feel I am. Other people say I’m just sick in the head or still confused. Well to those people I say I’ve never been more certain on something in my entire life!!! I’m proud to be transgender and gay and go to a private Christian homophobic boarding school, because I’m defeating the odds!!!

-M.R.S

Natalie Wants To Be Buffy

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It appeared to me that I was transgender roughly five months ago. I literally woke up with it, having recently been curious of what I’d look like as a girl. The first week was filled with so much joy. Pure. Like Leelah, I had discovered my true identity. It gave me the defining motivation to quit the unhealthy lifestyle that my depression and unrest had led me to. I realized these psychological problems were caused by my gender dysphoria, and know this because they subsided significantly once I figured out. It felt more like a secret every day I didn’t tell my family. There’s a lot of fear involved. But any doubt I’ve had comes right back to my destructive tendency to take the easy way out. Cisgender people don’t usually ask this question of themselves. If I hate my own sex, well then, I am transgender indeed. Gradually my past made all the sense in the world. I remembered having a strong desire to become a girl in the previous three years, but recalled waving it away as wishful thinking. Even though I was aware that I would’ve been better off as one, my mind wouldn’t let me go beyond that. Can’t erase the pain inside without a storm within.[1] I turned 23 a few months ago and I’m determined to face my 24th birthday as myself. In Norway the waiting period for hormones is torturous and pretty much the basis for my first suicidal ideation. I can’t wait to start HRT so I can become the one I’ve locked away for years.[2] So I’m not restrained, hiding in the body I’m supposed to live in.[3] Whatever the consequences, there’s no way I’m not doing this. I just wanna be a girl already. Like Buffy ._.

1. From Machinae Supremacy’s song “Skin”, which gave way to immense relief in troubled times. It’s about transformation and stuff! <3 <3 <3
2. From Circus Maximus’ song “Reach Within”. The sheer tonnage of emotion this song brought me allowed me mental support.
3. “Skin” again ≧◡≦ #MaSuLove

From the LGBT youth

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Oh boy this is long aren’t you excited?

I’m 15 and me and most of my friends at school are queer. A lot of my friends are bi/pan, nonbinary and/or asexual and I have one friend who is a trans boy. I’m sort of at a questioning phase with my gender and sexuality. For now, I identify as genderfluid and gyneromantic asexual, but things could change because its still hard for me to understand my feelings for girls, whether they are platonic, romantic or sexual. My gender is always a pain too. For a while I considered I could be a boy, for a while I felt I was agender, etc and it changes a lot so thats why I just identify as genderfluid.

I’ve come out as far as sexuality goes to my mom. It was hard because even though she is and always has been accepting of gays, she still just wrote it off as a phase, or said “Ok but wait until you are older you might change your mind.” And as for asexuality she thought that was totally impossible. She even at first said “I know you like boys,” which made me incredibly angry. What would she know of who I like? I have never liked boys, I only forced myself to because I thought I had to, and because my mom would never stop asking who I liked. [Read more…]

“You May Lose This Battle, But You Will Win This War.”

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Hi, my name is Shalee, and I am seventeen years of age. Biologically, I am female. Shalee is also the name I was given at birth, and I use this name 90% of the time, with the accompanying she/her pronouns. I am a proud part of the *trans community, and I identify as genderfluid.

As long as I can remember, I’ve realized that I was a bit different. But it wasn’t until I was in about 7th grade that I realized that there was a name for what I had always felt; Genderfluid.

I remember, from the age of birth until about age seven, that I always felt more masculine as opposed to feminine. I vividly recall my parents allowing me to go shirtless as a child, and I would also always wear my younger brother’s boxers.

My parents didn’t mind; They just thought I was a “tomboy.” Stranger’s always thought that my younger brother and I were twins boys, because he and I both had long hair, and wore boy’s clothing. As a child, I always neglected that atypical girl’s toys. [Read more…]

Fight for Your Identity!

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Mariana Blan My name is Mariana Blanco and I am a proud bisexual. Five years ago when I was 15, my parents found out thru my principal that I was bisexual. I wasn’t ready to come out, and it hurt me deeply that a school official who I thought I could trust just told my secret.

When I got home, I hope for the best you know? Maybe my parents will accept me and love me. But it was horrible, my mother told my father who just came from work and I was hiding in my room. And my dad, a huge homophobic, broke open my door and beat me. He and my mother beat me until I couldn’t speak or breath. He spat on my face, and when I was whimpering in pain, they stopped. Only to call me a disgrace and that I was a selfish person for destroying the image of the family. [Read more…]