Mariana Blan My name is Mariana Blanco and I am a proud bisexual. Five years ago when I was 15, my parents found out thru my principal that I was bisexual. I wasn’t ready to come out, and it hurt me deeply that a school official who I thought I could trust just told my secret.
When I got home, I hope for the best you know? Maybe my parents will accept me and love me. But it was horrible, my mother told my father who just came from work and I was hiding in my room. And my dad, a huge homophobic, broke open my door and beat me. He and my mother beat me until I couldn’t speak or breath. He spat on my face, and when I was whimpering in pain, they stopped. Only to call me a disgrace and that I was a selfish person for destroying the image of the family.
Most people would think that this would break me but it didn’t. As I slowly stood up in pain, I afforded myself to cry for the pain they caused me and for the bonds and rights that were now dissolved between me and my parents.
The next day, I woke up and saw my battered face in the mirror and I just grew angry as I washed it and put make up on myself to hide the injuries. I got angry and angry, I decided here and there that I was going to fight for my right to be myself and that I was not going to be a victim anymore.
Once I left the bathroom with my school uniform on. I confronted my parents, I decided not to say a word to them, to just not speak. I climbed into the car with my mother, hearing her drag on and on about how confused I was, how that would affect my reputation as a woman and how LGBTTQA+ are always discriminated at work places and finally how none of my family would accept me.
I got out of the car, and went to my first class of the day. My friends and classmates quickly noticed something wrong (I was always full of pep and cheer at school, so when I came looking like the walking dead. They were pretty alarmed). I wasn’t ready to talk about it, so I told them to back off. 10 minutes into the class, I’m called to the principal’s office, I remember vividly how I was full of dread when I walked there. I opened the door to the principals office and I saw my mother and my principal there waiting for me. I sat down, they both gave me a lecture on light and darkness and how God always wants his children on the side of the light and how Satan seduces God’s children with demonic fantasies of the flesh and they in turn become part of the darkness. I remember being so furious, I was going to punch a wall but I remained composed that is until my mother said that she and my father were worried about me, and that the only wanted what was best and that everything they do is because they love me. I stood up, and just glared at both and I opened the door and left, I went running to my classroom and I saw my best friend there with a troubled expression and I just gave her a hug and started crying and sobbing on her shoulder.
My English teacher stopped the class and my classmates all went to see what was wrong and gave me a group hug. When I finally opened up, they were pissed at my parents but more at the principal for telling it to my parents when it wasn’t his secret to say.
I was able to get thru that day, thanks to my best friend, boyfriend and the support of my whole class who not only made me feel better but were imperative in making the old principal get fired and for fucking up his car lol.
My mother made me change schools. It was like the final blow but I decided to make the best of it, not only was that new school horrible, I suffered incredible amounts of bullying and discrimination for being a bisexual. As well as being forced into conversion therapy. It culminated with me having a almost fatal panic attack, that I needed to go to the hospital.
But every bad thing comes with a blessing, the hospital doctors made my mom (on threat of child abuse) change my therapist and make me go to a real psychologist and thanks to him, I was able to get in college with a much better and positive attitude.
I won’t end this story with the cliche of “it gets better”. Because for many LGBTTQIA+ youth it doesn’t. But what I will say is this, life isn’t going to make itself better, YOU have to do that. You need to fight for what you believe in and fight with courage because many people will try to bring you down but you must fight and rise above them like pheonix. You, are beautiful, smart, couragous and kind human being and I believe in you. Even though all you see around you is that you’re disgusting, selfish and a disgrace, I’m here to tell you that you matter, that you are important and that even though you may not see it, I can see it and I believe in you. Don’t lose hope, even if the road isn’t clear because like my favorite authors once said “Not all those who wander are lost”.
I’m currently 20 years of age and I’m a polyamorous bisexual who is studying literature in the University of Puerto Rico Rio Piedras campus. I am a femininst and a fierce supporter of the fight for equal rights. And this was my story.
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